Unexpressed Emotions

I have a long-standing interest in how we communicate and how we create harmony, or disharmony, within ourselves and in our relationships with others.   This has manifested for me in more than a decade of work as an attorney drawn to mediating agreements between people, and then far more than a decade of work as an integrative health professional helping others find inner harmony and reduction of the stress that contributes to so much physical, mental and social malaise.

Today I want to share a few thoughts about unexpressed emotions.  I am reminded in a thoughtful short video by Robert Najemy that suppressing emotions is a form of communication.  It is very common in our culture to suppress emotions.  Many people fear conflict or rejection if they were to speak about what they want, or need, or are bothered by.  We want the other person to just “know” what we want, without our ever having clearly communicated it.   Little by little, incident by incident, resentment builds.   This is stressful, and stress is a contributing factor in most health problems, often causing it.  A cycle of suppressed feelings, resentment and negative reaction by the other person doubles and quadruples the stress that both people feel.

Learning how to speak our truth, to use “I” statements to express our feelings about the little things and the bigger things that come up, may help prevent that build up, reduce everyone’s stress and help us to lead healthier, happier lives.
Watch the video here.

-Pennie

‘Pennie for your thoughts…
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Forget about Ginkgo Biloba

Do you stand at the herbal supplement display and wonder which ones really do what is claimed?  I don’t take Ginkgo Biloba myself, but I look at it and wonder about claimed benefits for memory and cognitive function, aware that few studies exist.  We usually think of medical research as finding yet one more pill that one could take, but in this case, a large study reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) in December 23/30 does not find supporting evidence to take a popular herbal supplement.  A summary can be found in this Boston Globe report.

Millions of Americans take supplements hoping to ward off memory loss, cognitive decline and dementia.  One of the most popular choices is Ginkgo biloba, derived from a tree that lives to be 1500 years old and presently exists in few parts of the world.  It does grow in China.   In a large double-blind robust study with over 3000 participants,  led by Beth Snitz of the U. of Pittsburgh,  participant (ages 72-96) took either Ginkgo biloba or an inactive pill twice daily for six years.   Yes, six years.  Memory, language, attention and other mental abilities were tested regularly.

Participants who took Ginkgo biloba did no better on tests of cognitive function that those who did not take the supplement.   That’s good enough for me to pass up on this supplement for now.

-Pennie

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Four Corners in a Sphere

That old expression “He traveled the four corners of the Earth” comes to mind as I look back on photographs of the many places I have been fortunate enough to visit, mostly with my little back pack and mostly staying in the “people’s hotels”, i.e. the $1 a night place with a straw bed in Nepal.  Whether Afghanistan, India, Tibet or Darjeeling, there are many more than four corners when it comes to diversity.

Experiencing diversity sharpens and challenges our perceptions and beliefs. I am thinking of diversity in the way people around the world express themselves in music, food, dance, humor, art, spirituality, work, play and medicine (to name a few).  As we protect community, may we also be good shepherds of healthy diversity.  By “healthy” I mean expressions that nurture well-being of the planet and its many inhabitants (human and otherwise).

With well wishes for every sentient being in all “four corners” of the little sphere we call home, here are a few of my photos to share.

Nepal

Darjeeling

Afghanistan

Taj Mahal, India

-Pennie

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Microcosm and Macrocosm

Looking inward and in the external world around me, I see patterns that repeat.   Interactions or events that seem random, at first,  may from a place of mindfulness,  instruct me in another life lesson that echoes of an earlier life lesson, series of events, relationship issues, or even injuries.  I am reminded of the concept of microcosm and macrocosm as those were introduced to me in my studies with the great teacher, Mary Burmeister, in the ancient healing art of jin shin jyutsu.

In the ancient Greek philosophical conception, microcosm and macrocosm comes from “kosmos” which can translate to “ordered world” or “harmonious world”, and “micro” (small) and “macro” (large).  The conception in microcosm and macrocosm being that the same patterns reproduce in all levels of the cosmos, from the largest scale (universe level) to the smallest scale (sub-sub-atomic or metaphysical-level).  Man being somewhere in the middle.

The healing arts teach us consider how an illness, ache, pain or other dis-order might be “speaking” to us about a larger lifestyle issue or lesson that might inform us about ourselves on an emotional, physical or spiritual level.   This is not to do away with modern medicines, but to add to it.  Reflecting on what might be the “bigger picture” is humbling and freeing at the same time.  Sometimes nothing comes up.  It just is.

What prompted my thinking about this subject was a photograph from space of the “Cat’s Eye Nebula”  which looked like a flower in my garden, or my heart opening up to receive the light.  On this NASA link you can see a new view of our galaxy every day with an astronomer’s comments.

May your new year bring harmony and an expanded perception of the microcosm and macrocosm of your life.

-Pennie

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I Know You’re Watching Me

Have you had the experience of looking out of the window of your car at the guy in the car in the lane next to yours, and moments later, he turns his head and looks at you?  You wonder ‘How did he know I was looking at him?”  Is it peripheral vision or do we somehow “know” when people are staring at us?

In a long running research project at the Institute for Noetic Science (IONS) in Petaluma, California, they studied whether we know if someone is staring at us when peripheral vision is removed as a possibility.  And the answer is YES.  Pretty cool.   IONS, research director Marilyn Schlitz, whom I have met various times over the years, is a serious scientist and a lovely human being, who has been on national news much recently, along with fellow scientist and author, Dean Radin. IONS was mentioned often in Dan Brown’s new bestseller “The Lost Symbol”, which weaves fiction with valid consciousness research, thus the media flurry around IONS.

So if you want to know more about the cool research they do, you can be member of this nonprofit organization and get e-newsletters and invites to events.

-Pennie

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Wash My Hands AND MY NOSE?

I’d like to share a health practice that I used to scoff at, but no longer. Sinus washing.  It is free and an amazing aid to preventing illness and getting past sinus infections.  Whenever I may have been exposed to colds or flu germs by a sick patient, or if I feel signs of sickness, I take a minute and wash my nose!  Though sinus washing sounds weird and complicated, it is easy to do and dynamic.    Think about it.  If the germs got into your sinus cavities, why not wash them out before they multiply?

Five years ago I was a skeptic of the “neti pot”, which I had heard was commonly used in Europe to treat cold symptoms.  Then I had a personal experience.  My son had sinus surgery in the month before leaving for college.  He contracted an infection soon after surgery, was put on antibiotics, and left for college in Canada.  In the hubbub of starting college, he may not have finished the course of meds. The infection rebounded.  The university clinic did not have the super-strong antibiotic needed.  Kaiser gave me the meds and I expressed it overnight to the college.  But the package was held up in customs for days. I became very worried thinking about a serious infection right next to his brain.  I called Dr. George Matula, my doctor, neighbor and infection disease expert.

George told me to have my son start washing his sinus a few times each day. He said he had seen serious infections cleared up just using this technique.  The instructions he gave worked.  My son’s infection cleared before the drugs ever made it through customs!  Here’s what the doctor said to do:

•    Slightly warm bottled or distilled water – ¼ cup
•    Add a pinch or two of salt, just enough so you can taste the presence of sale in the water.  Stir to dissolve.
•    Wash your hands
•    Cup the right hand and pour the salt water into the “cup”
•    Use the left hand to close the left sinus (push it gently)
•    “Sniff up” the salt water into the right nostril
•    Repeat on the other side

Do not use tap water. It will irritate the tissue.  When you sniff up the water, it will feel a little “funky” for a moment, but then feel really clean.

CAUTION: Sinus washing is not a substitute for appropriate medical care. If you have a medical condition, consult your doctor and ask about the advisability off sinus washing for you.

I’ve never used the Neti Pot, but many do and like it.   Says Dr. Andrew Weil:  “People with chronic sinus conditions should use a nasal douche daily, as it promotes drainage of the sinuses and speeds healing of inflamed tissues….a ceramic device for this purpose is called a Neti Pot”
—
Here’s a link for how to do sinus cleansing.

http://www.neti-pot.com/

-Pennie

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Grati-Giving Day

Thanksgiving always made me wonder about my Native American ancestry on my mother’s father’s side. In the high country of Pennsylvania, I discovered much about my Leni Lenape background. Sometimes called the Delaware Tribe, they were called upon to negotiate treaties with the colonists on behalf of many tribes. They must have been there in the early Thanksgiving celebrations. I am thankful for this part of my family heritage, and want to learn more.

Learning how to find reasons to be grateful, and to be content with how our decisions turns out is a practice shared in common by happy families. Scientists have discovered that even when you are struggling, if you act grateful (even if you are faking it) soon you start feeling it. Human brains don’t like to behave and feel in “opposition”. Your expressions will want to follow your words.

Read this CNN article “The 5 Secrets of Happy Families”
and share something you got from it with your loved ones this Thanksgiving.

On my CD “Best Things In Life Are Free: Focus on Happiness,” I sing When the Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Bobbin’ Along and that little ol’ robin says it all – “Live, love, laugh and be happy”. Available as a gift of happiness for that child you love from Amazon or my website  healthierhappierlife.com.

-Pennie

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Excercise Your Noodles!

We just can’t get away from it: If we want to keep it, then we have to exercise it and give it good food.  In this case, our BRAIN.

A friend passed on this San Francisco Chronicle article that caught my attention, all 24 paragraphs of it, some mental health experts fearing that “a growing technology addition, perhaps accelerated by the popularity of smart phones and social networks, will lead to a breakdown of interpersonal relationships and an increase in attention deficit disorder.” Oh my goodness. One more thing that may contribute to our noodles getting dry and stiff! Stanford University doctor, Elias Aboujaoude, pointed out that like any skill, if you don’t use it, you lose it.  Meaning, if we don’t use our brain to attend to meaningful, complex information then we may lose those mental skills.

All this easy technology is probably too convenient to give up, so my advice to help counter this risk is: Do what you need to do in the virtual world so long as you make it a priority to have time for real conversations and communication with friends and colleagues and time for writing and reading quality fiction and non-fiction.

Our noodles need good food, too.  Psychology Today talks about the importance of the “right fat” in our diet, i.e. the now famous Omega-3 an Omega- 6 fatty acids. Canola oil and walnut are recommended.  Not too much.

We can boost alertness and memory by giving our body what the neurotransmittors need, like choline, found in eggs.  It is a B vitamin, and mental performance and mood are influenced by them.

You read this entire article, so you’ve exercised your brain today. Now go eat a walnut!

-Pennie

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I Need My Knees

One of those overlooked parts of body is the knees, until they become stiff, painful or inflamed. And then our whole life is affected and we realize just how important that joint is for taking a step forward into our day and to keep our balance. My thing is preventative care and what we can do naturally once things go sideways. In the ancient hands on healing art of jin shin jyutsu, a close cousin to acupuncture, the acupoint on the inside of the knee is called safety energy lock #1. As human spirit manifests and comes into physical form, we begin moving forward, to take our first step, from articulation of the knee joint. It is #1. The point on the outside of the knee is our SEL #8 for balance in our life. We want to keep our #1 and out #8 open and happy, right?

Here are 5 tips to take care of your knees:

1. Energy self-help: Sit back in a reclining chair or on the sofa with knees up. Place your fingertips of one hand on your opposite inner knee. Place the fingertips of your other hand on the opposite arm, just above the elbow. Just be there, with kind intention towards yourself, for a few minutes. Do the other side.
2. Exercise self-help: Don’t beat your knees up by excessive running, jumping. There is a time when we may chose to back off of those activities. Women in particular, make sure you keep you VMO muscle strong. Most people don’t know what or where the VMO muscle is, so ask a personal trainer, physical therapist or doctor. A weak VMO can be the cause of much knee pain.
3. Energy/exercise self-help: QiGong or Tai Chi. Both of these disciplines are rich in exercises that help strengthen and balance the body, mind and spirit. Find a class in your area. I promise I’ll do a You-Tube with some QiGong exercises.
4. Diet self-help: Olive oil and the Mediterranean diet are excellent to help reduce inflammation of all kinds. Buy some Italian olive oil and take a tablespoon a day on your food (or straight from the spoon), and rub some on your knee. It naturally has an anti-inflammatory chemical in it.
5. Weight self-help: Ongoing research at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill School of Medicine has found that shedding weight significantly reduces the risk of developing osteoarthritis.

Remember. If your knees are happy, you’ll be happier.

-Pennie

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Shake a leg!

I love to dance.  In my twenties, I was performing modern jazz.  The raising-the-kids-years meant not too many nights for dancing, but I’ve gotten back into the swing of it, and did some west coast swing performing this past year. Do you watch Dancing with the Stars and think “I could never do that. I’m all left feet!”  If you answered yes, you are in good company.  And all that good company might be surprised to hear that if you can walk, you can dance.

Oh, yeah, not me! Is that what you are thinking?  Here’s the secret.
Step #1: Think of the kind of music you like to listen to most.  Is it danceable?  If yes, you have Step #1 tackled.
Step #2 : Figure out what kind of dance works with your favorite music.  Here are some hints.  Latin music is perfect for latin dances, like salsa, cha cha, rumba, and the easiest of them all, merengue.   Cool and smooth west coast swing goes great with contemporary, rhythm and blues, and country.  There’s also the hustle, lindy hop, east coast swing, waltz and nightclub two step, that work with just about everything else.  I’ve danced all of them and love them.  There’s another whole wonderful world of music for contra dancing, round dancing and square dancing, with dancing in groups
Step #3: Find a studio and start as a beginner.  Everyone will have just as many left feet as you do.

Why dance?  If the exercise and socializing isn’t enough for you, recent  studies are showing that learning to dance also exercises the brain, too, and helps prevent Alzheimer’s and other unwelcome cognitive problems associated with aging.

Shake a leg!

-Pennie

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